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The 15 Best Vagina Analogies from the Millennial Pussy Poet, Young Thug

Good times.

June 8, 2016, 3:00am

Image from YouTube

While the average listener might not be checking for his wordplay, Young Thug is arguably the most creative lyricist in rap right now. If you take the time to decipher the words between his beautifully deranged ad-libs, you'll find a goldmine of references and comparisons that are nothing short of poetic.

Nowhere is this clearer than in Thugger's discussion of his relationships with women's nether regions—his most fertile well of inspiration. Unlike the very literal innuendo of the previous decade's leading pussy poet, R Kelly—"Like a hotel room, I'm checking into you"—Young Thug's analogies stem from a playful sense of absurdity. Using logic that must either be fuelled by hallucinogens or divinely inspired, he blends the banal and the ridiculous to create imagery that is crazy, comical, and at the same time, kind of makes sense.

He's our generation's vagina poet-laureate.

To support this position, we've created a list of Young Thug's best pussy-related analogies so far. Fifteen highlights are featured below, but you can visit the full index here.

1. "Austin Powers" Rich the Kid feat. Young Dolph & Young Thug

How many times have I told you that I would eat you like Denny's?

One of a million borderline product placements. Hoping Thugger can cash in on some of these.

2. "Bang Bang"

And they know, I eat em' like Eggo / She drink me like Faygo / I'm sliming like "Hey bro!"

'Go', 'go', 'bro'. Good rhymes. Great product placement. He eats the waffle, she drinks the soda, you get it.

3. "Because of Me"

Ate the bitch like a Baconator, done for, Arnold Schwarzenegger

970 calories of vagina. Thugger doesn't seem to have any brand loyalty when it comes to fast food.

4. "That's All"

I might eat it, I might beat it like Mike Ikes / Treat that pussy Tempurpedic, and call it a night

Clever double entendre here, Jeffrey. Candy AND MJ makes forsome good cunnilingus imagery

5. "Destroyed"

Baby pop that pussy like a Snapple

Who would have known the safety seal could reach such rhythmic heights?

6. "I Know There's Gonna Be (Good Times)" - Jamie xx feat. Young Thug & Popcaan

I'ma ride in that pussy like a stroller / I survive in the motherfuckin gutter

Basically.

7. "Myself"

I need napkins, pussy wet, it need some napkins, Baptist / Hey that pussy wet like it got baptized

Wow. #blessed.

8. "Calling Your Name"

I'ma ride that bitch like a V12 / Aye baby girl don't meet me there beat me there / Plus I am a freak like 3 Kels'

THREE Kellz'? One R Kelly is already too much.

9. "No Way"

I wanna eat that pussy creamy like a dip / Her pussy wetter than the bottom of a ship

Tbh creamy sounds a bit like an infection.

10. "Mama I'm Sorry"

Eat that jello like pudding, put this log in her life, no wood / Before I leave, I'ma make sure that she would

Hey Ma, let me put this log in your life.

11. "Rollin Rollin"

I skate in that pussy good, got an endorsement with Vans

Watch out Weezy.

12. "Flava" - Rich Gang

I'ma come a week later / I'ma spread that pussy out like an acre

This is terrifying.

13. "Draw Down"

If she get that dick hard then you know I'm pokin' / Put that pussy on my head like a fucking Motrin

Another great use of product placement. Vaganalgesic.

14. "Chickens"

Baby girl I want that camel toe just like Aladdin

This is borderline politically incorrect, but after the log and the acre it's positively tame.

15. "OD"

Pussy clean she don't need panties / I see right thru that bitch like she panoramic / Yeah I treat that beef just like a fuckin' Manwich

Sloppy. Joes. Ew.

Bonus round: "Here"

Eat her pussy like I smoked a lot of weed and got munchies

Nothing cryptic about that.

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Tagged:Young Thug