Ben Buchanan
"I'm on the guestlist." The four most beautiful words ever spoken.Partying for free is both a fine art and a dangerous addiction. Once you've tasted the sweet rush of bypassing a line of miserable ticket-holders (later, bbs), you never want to crawl back to the dank pits of General Admission. But everyone can worm their way on the guestlist once—that shit's easy. Staying there is a whole different game, one that requires tenacity, skill, charm, and most of all, good manners. (Unless you're a cute babe with drugs. Then you're all set!)Nightlife etiquette should be a no-brainer, but people trip up all the time. So here's how to snag a spot on the list without being a dick.This is probably the most important rule, and one that noobs fuck up most regularly: don't ask for guestlist the day of the party. Names have already been submitted, sorry, your window of opportunity has closed. With that in mind, requests after 5PM are just straight up rude, and if you're sending a text to the DJ while standing outside the club… LOL BYE.Most DJs want everyone who decided to spend their Friday nights watching them spin to have the best time possible. But the club only gives each of them a certain number of spots, and those spots are going to people who, you know, actually support their careers. If you've never been to said DJ's record release party and don't know what label they're on, you don't deserve a spot on their list.The best way to ask for guestlist is by asking indirectly. This tactic is especially effective when you're not sure if you're close enough to a DJ to ask for a favor. Just slide into their DMs all casual like, "Hey man, I definitely want to come out tonight. When are you on? How much are tickets?" If they don't offer, whatever. You're back where you started. (Loser.)Guestlist is a privilege, not a right. All because you work in the dance music industry doesn't mean you deserve a free pass. Ugh, the worst people are the ones who straight up lie—claiming they're "press," then not even texting the DJ once they arrive for the scheduled "interview." You guys are slimy, slimy worms and we see you.The easiest way to piss off a DJ? Not being happy with just guestlist. For some unfathomable reason (usually because they're hot), certain people expect not just a free ticket, but an unlimited supply of drinks and drugs too. I don't care how big your dick is or how many circles it can swing. Asking for "plus eight" so you can roll through with your squad is not cute, even if you're cute.Wow, you have a JOB? A well-paying, white collar gig that lets you pay off your student loans and go out to fancy dinners? BUY A FUCKING TICKET. Leave the spots for the poor artists moonlighting as bike messengers, because everyone deserves to turn up, but not everyone can afford to. Plus, nothing is worse than a yuppie thirsting after freebies.Don't be "that guy" begging for guestlist every single time there's a good party around the corner.If you're not buddies with a DJ, maybe don't hit them up with an email that starts with, "hey sister!" It comes off as disingenuous, and they'll just shoot back an unequally fake-friendly rejection email to you. If they reply at all.You think going to parties is expensive? Try throwing one. When the cover is so low it basically doesn't exist, asking for guestlist is essentially asking, "Hey, can I have $5? From your wallet?"Come on dude. That's just lazy.Follow Michelle Lhooq on Twitter
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Ask Early
Know the DJ
Be a Little Sly
Read: "Clubbed to Death: How Can We Save Nightclubs from Closing?"
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Don't Throw Around the Industry Card
Be Grateful
Don't Be Rich
Keep Your Requests to a Minimum
Don't Fake Familiarity
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