It's bank holiday weekend, which probably means your planning a three night bender of debauchery that will see you have it large straight from work tonight with the plan of going through to Monday. But no doubt come 11pm Friday, when the six post-work pints have numbed your soul, all plans will be put on hold for a weekend of Minstrels, Irn Bru and 20 seasons of Premier League Years.If you avoid this predicament, and we avoid a total washout, it's pretty likely that a barbecue in the scrubby, shit-smeared square of concrete your mate calls a garden is on the cards. At THUMP we know that these can be difficult occasions to navigate. You'll have the girl in the corner that quite clearly didn't swipe you left on Tinder, the bloke moaning about the state of modern football and probably some token Australian that over-rates himself on the 1's and 2's of the barbie. You'll eat gritty sausages washed down with lukewarm cans of Export, smoke a tonne of rollies because there's fuck all else to do, repeatedly talk about temperature fluctuations, and generally have a glum time of things. Still, it's a BBQ mate, cheer up! We've got pork chops coming in a minute and my mate Elly's going to be here soon and she's a real laugh and I think she's bringing a bottle of prosecco with her. Fuck that.
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Still, if you're going to get a grassy arse and a cold, you might as well have some alright music to listen to. Here's eight tracks that'll get things sizzling. Until someone knocks over the disposable barbecue and you fuck it off for the pub instead.Bobby McFerrin – "Thinkin' Bout Your Body (Joe Edit)"People will be passing around the keys to the soundsystem with an insistence of playing tracks that were released before they were old enough to tie their shoelaces. So when you get ahold of that all important aux cable you've got to cater to that audience too. Old hook, new sound, but this one's forthcoming, so you can impress that girl in the Reeboks who only plays Zomby's white labels.Maurice Fulton – "Life Is Water"The 110bpm maestro can do no wrong. From remixes to original cuts it's hard to pick the essential Fulton jam to soundtrack stale buns slathered with cheap ketchup, but honestly, even your arthritic grandmother's getting down to this one. Pro tip: get a bonfire lit for this one.Harvey Sutherland – "Bamboo"
Sutherland is Fulton's modern day slowmo house apprentice, with a wide range of cuts perfect for this type of scenario in his arsenal. He's got a whole back catalogue that'll provide you with enough bop to get everyone chatting, but not enough to get anyone that hyped that they might consider texting someone with the surname Gear.Bicep – "Celeste"Bicep are everywhere right now and there's a reason why. This straight up slow burner has African drums and a dreamy swooning vocal hook that will provide the background for all of those awkward chats with someone you've not seen since you told them you loved at 4am in Chicken Cottage. Pass us a Stella, yeah? Save this one for sundown, by the way.
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Genius Of Time – "Same Old Place"Perfect piano rift? Check. Steady rising breakdown? Check. Couple of Swedish fellas that create the perfect soundtrack for an afternoon in a garden? Definite winner here.Terry Hunter - "Sweet Music"Sometimes you've got to draw the the classics. Burgers gone cold? That potato salad's got a layer of flies on it? Someone's knocked over your last remaining can and the offie shuts in five minutes? Get this on and watch those worries evaporate.Barnt – "Chappell"In the same way that not everyone wants to chow down on a bronzed banana slapped haphazardly on the barbie, the playlist doesn't have to be to everyone's taste. Take a risk. Play some Barnt and burn some prawns.The Streets – "Weak Become Heroes"
"Turn left up the street/Nothing but grey concrete and dead beats/Grab something to eat/Maccy D's or KFC" is a poignant verse at any time, but particularly the morning after the night before you spent huffing down severely undercooked meat, retching with regret and remorse.Follow Patrick on Twitter for more BBQ tips.