This article originally appeared on VICE Netherlands.Emma, 22, has been lonely for most of her life. “For a long time, I was very sad about having no friends,” she says. “I was also angry with myself for years. I thought I was stupid. I didn't understand why everyone managed to make friends but me.”
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Ironically, Emma – who asked to remain anonymous – isn't alone in this. Research shows that 47 percent of adults in England experienced some degree of loneliness in 2022. But if feeling alone every once in a while is pretty normal, chronic loneliness can have a huge and very shitty effect on your life, self-worth and overall wellbeing. So what can you do about it?Karin Bruijnesteijn, a counsellor at the Dutch mental health platform MIND Korrelatie, and Kyra Haerkens from Join Us, a programme for young people with loneliness, helped us come up with a few tips.Loneliness isn’t necessarily about having few friends or not having enough time to hang out with your pals. You can also feel it while surrounded by people, Bruijnesteijn says. The first kind of loneliness is known as social loneliness – the second is called emotional loneliness. Distinctions aside, the two types also easily and often intertwine.Emotional loneliness is more complex than social loneliness and can arise for a variety of reasons like, for instance, when you lack meaning in life. “I regularly meet young people who don't feel connected to themselves because they don't really know who they are,” Bruijnesteijn said. "What do you think is important? What do you want in your life? These major identity questions can bring up feelings of loneliness.”
1. Understand what loneliness is
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2. Identify the cause
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3. Reflect on your own priorities
4. Talk about it
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5. Work on your social skills
6. Take it easy
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