Saturday night is a night of endless opportunity. It's a night for getting in an Uber, putting J Hus on the aux before asking the driver, “long night is it?”. It’s a night for accidentally snogging your best mate and never thinking of it again until you’re sat in the stalls on their wedding day, remembering how their mouth tasted very slightly of fried chicken. Saturday night is for losing your mate and spending the rest of the night yelling into your iPhone: “WE’RE AT THE POLE, THE BIG BLACK POLE, WAIT, WAIT, I’M COMING TO YOU’. You never find each other.
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It might be a Thursday at the time of publishing, but on this day 25 years ago, Whigfield released their seminal track “Saturday Night”, a song with lyrics like “Da ba da dan dee dee dee da nee na na na” which perfectly encapsulate the chaotic, laissez-faire spirit of the weekend. To celebrate it’s quarter-century birthday, I went around asking people about their most unforgettable Saturday night – the good, the bad and the plain strange – because in the words of the Danish Eurodance group, when Saturday comes: “It's party time and not one minute we can lose”.I thought freshers week was so lame. The first time I got on the bus to my halls, which were in the middle of nowhere, I genuinely heard someone say “no parents!!”. I thought I was so much better than everyone else, and this feeling only increased after two Philosophy seminars when I had learned the word “subjective”.One night I came back from a night out to my shared accommodation with a new friend called Patrick. I started throwing my flatmate’s food around, guacamole over the walls, snapped carrots, milk in the carpet. Then I banged on each of their doors, lined them up military style and told each person one by one: “you are a cunt”. The next morning some of them were actually still crying. I apologised, but didn’t replace any of the food? I am no longer this person, but it’s good to remember this night so I don’t ever turn all Jarhead again. Dan, 26.
“Guacamole over the walls, snapped carrots, milk in the carpet”
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“Everything in my mind is divided into 'before finger' and 'after finger'”
“I got naked, mounted her and poured champagne down her gullet”
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“I must have snagged something?? Inside??”
“I took so much MCAT that my back went crooked”
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