This morning began like any other Friday. I woke up and tugged on some distressed, wedgie-fit Levi's and a cropped T-shirt from a mall in Flushing. Fall has come, so I stepped into my thick leather Rick Owens sneakers and a heavy Rick Owens flannel, then grabbed my black Ann Demeulemeester purse and the fierce Celine sunglasses that I bought because I saw Katniss Everdeen in them once.My walk to work was quick. But when I pulled the shades from my face, I was blinded by the divine light of Taco Bell's newest press release: They have partnered with Forever 21 and are releasing a collaborative fashion collection in less than two weeks.
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Everything was normal before, but now we live in a world where the best, worst clothing conglomerate is producing "bodysuits" and "cropped hoodies" with the best, worst fast food giant.According to Taco Bell marketing executive Marisa Thalberg, the collaboration has come as the natural result of each brand's commitment to "innovative limited edition products that everyone can enjoy." Linda Chang, Forever 21 vice president of merchandising, explained it this way: "Food, like fashion, is driven by trends and culture." And thus this world-altering collab was born into existence.Both executives promise that the hoodies, tanks, jackets, bodysuits, and T-shirts will be saucy and hot. But since we can't actually see the collection until October 11, I find it necessary to pitch my own ideas. I sincerely hope that Taco Bell and Forever 21 can quickly manufacture some of these novel design concept. They are sure to appeal to literally everyone.Everyone loves wrap dresses. They're comfortable and chic, providing an easy way for lazy women like me to be glamorous. Diane von Furstenberg is famous for her vivid prints and wrap dresses—but I don't like them. They're way too much like real clothes; when I get dressed, I need to feel like I'd never be allowed entrance to a corporate office. So I propose that Taco Bell and Forever 21 fill this gap in the market and capitalize off the universally beloved Crunchwrap Supreme.The Crunchwrap Dress would have everything thats good about wrap dresses and the Crunchwrap Supreme: A soft exterior coupled with a supportive structure that holds in belly fat and cheese. Where the Crunchwrap Supreme had an internal hardshell taco to keep things together, the wrap dress has a belt. The Crunchwrap Dress will be very chill. Instead of trying to make you presentable at a board meeting, it will be made out of cotton terry cloth, fall mid-thigh, and resemble an oversized crewneck sweater. The words CRUNCH and WRAP will be printed in script, vertically down the arms.
The Crunchwrap Dress
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