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But then there are those pathetic little nubs. They're going to hold up about as well as the analogue stick did on the N64. And the fact that they're not protruding from pentagonal holes should set alarm bells ringing, because they're definitely five-sided portals on that patent diagram. What I am trying to say, in an overly longwinded manner, is that the photo is both too much like the patent image, and yet also not quite spot-on enough. There is no way Nintendo would go for virtual face buttons (that "B" looks flat, yeah?) rather than the physical alternative that's served them so well. This looks like garbage. It just has to be a fake.Or, at least, a super early prototype. In which case, it is an NX controller. Sort of. An NX controller that looks like a rear-view mirror. Like a knock-off Bose speaker case with some shimmery nonsense that no eyes can accurately make out glued into it. (It's not even backlit, is it?) Like all of your nightmares becoming a reality because why, oh why, won't Nintendo just Make Stuff Like Everyone Else. I'll tell you why: because if they did, we'd never have got the Virtua… Okay, I see your point. But the Wii. The Wii was massive, and like nothing else before it. Whatever happens next, we'll always have the Wii.Read more gaming articles on VICE here, and follow us on Twitter at @VICEGaming.Related, on Motherboard: Nintendo's First Mobile App Wants to Know All Your Secrets