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Music

“What If There Was A Dubstep Song But Instead Of The Drop There Was Just The Seinfeld Theme Song” Is The Most Important Song of The Decade

The daring, post-post-modern composition by SoundCloud user chrstnandrkn might just change your life.

This may come as a surprise to some of you, but you need to hear it: The internet is kind of huge. Infinite, I've heard, though I can't find a source on that. Because of this immensity, no matter how hard you try to keep abreast of the dank meme circuit like the memelord you are, you're inevitably going to miss some things. I'm sorry, but you are. We all are.

Don't ask me how it happens. I have a routine check every morning and night of my tumblr feed, my Instagram discover, the Facebook and Twitter timelines and the Vine popular page, desperate to be in on every single joke even if it kills me. Which it will. But things slip through the cracks. That's just the way it is. It doesn't feel good, it doesn't feel fair, but that's life. "Is she okay?" you're probably thinking. No, I'm not. Not really. I believe what you're seeing is an existential crisis.

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You see, yesterday a friend—or should I say someone I met on Tinder—sent me a link to something so fundamentally #me that I couldn't believe I didn't make it myself. I assumed, as you do with any fresh and relatable meme you stumble across, that it was the latest, greatest, and fraichest thing sweeping the net. But, no. Is it possible that I don't know about every single funny thing out there? I don't like to think about it.

"What If There Was A Dubstep Song But Instead Of The Drop There Was Just The Seinfeld Theme Song" is a daring, post-post-modern composition uploaded to the online audio platform SoundCloud by user chrstnandrkn. It has 177,000 plays and 149 comments at the time of writing. Comments like "There are few things in life that bring joy, this is one of them," "this is the best thing that's ever happened to me," and "ʜɪ, I'ᴍ Gertha Shirkey. ɪ'ᴍ ʙᴏʀᴇᴅ, ᴡᴀɴᴛ sᴇx wɪᴛʜoᴜᴛ cᴏᴍᴍɪᴛᴍᴇɴᴛ. Yᴏᴜ ᴄaɴ ᴛrʏ ʏᴏuʀ ʟuᴄk - bit.ly/23VSoNa. mʏ ɴɪᴄkɴaᴍe GerthaShirkey20."

In the last 24 hours, this song has brought me an immeasurable amount of happiness. I've laughed, I've cried, I've tried my luck with Gertha Shirkey. I've probably listened to it more than fifty times but each time I am just as overjoyed as the last. Even "Where Are U Now" became stale around fifty plays. I don't know what to do. I've never felt this way before.

The problem here is that this song has been online one whole year, and yet it only got its first comment two days ago. We, as a planet, as a society, as a people, could have had this song in our lives for a goddamn year. We've lived an entire year not knowing about this. We slept on this. We failed.

But it's just like they say, it's better to have found a meme late than never to have found it at all. And if there's any way to make it right, it's to spread that meme like wildfire. To every gosh darn corner of the globe. So here it is, the song of the year (I'm calling it): "What If There Was A Dubstep Song But Instead Of The Drop There Was Just The Seinfeld Theme Song" by SoundCloud user chrstnandrkn. A prince among men.

H/t to Kia Tasbihgou.

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