"Spirit Hood" may sound like the name a Shaman would give his uncircumcized penis, but they actually represent a lot more than that…at least, I think so. I don't know exactly why people wear spirit hoods—all I can say for sure is that people who wear them tend to denounce capitalism and designer brands and laud home-grown heirloom tomatos and locally-sourced molly.The webiste SpiritHoods.com is widely accused of appropriating various aspects of Native American culture and spawning a festival trend, but hundreds of other producers have since popped up, inflating the spirit hood bubble to unsustainable levels. Will we reach peak hood? How many companies can the market support?
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Back in 2013, Reddit user ktheholehunter asked, "Do you have an animal hood that isn't a spirit hood? Do you regret your decision?" First of all, if your cause for concern is the brand of spirit hood rather than the idea of wearing a faux fur hat with paws in public, you are probably unfamiliar with the concept of regret. ktheholehunter does raise a valid question, however: What difference is there between "authentic" spirit hoods and ones from competitors? Better materials? Higher quality? Uniqueness? I took it upon myself to find the most expensive Spirit Hood that money can buy.$20 will get you a run of the mill spirit hood.
If you're looking to spend $20 on a spirit hood, you're spoiled for choice. When you consider the fact that your spirit hood is made up of a few dollars worth of stuff and will soon enough be covered in dust and Naked Grape boxed wine, it's really hard to justify going above this price point. (via Etsy)$60 will get you this athletic-inspired California Trojans spirit hood.
As of writing this, UCONN Huskies and Wisconsin Badgers team spirit hoods are sold out. I know there's a joke in there somewhere. (via SpiritHoods)$70 will get you this light-up spirit hood.
…and it's actually kind of awesome. If I was worried that I would get lost in the darkness after The Hudson Project deteriorated into anarchy, I would 100% wear this. (via Etsy)$95 will get you this spirit hood with a pouch for your iPhone
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If you're the kind of person who thinks that a flap of fabric will keep your $600 smartphone safe while you jump up and down to Skillex in a crowd of thousands, you're probably the kind of person who feels that $95 for a spirit hood is a fair price. (via Ebay)$100 will get you this vision of horror.
And may the Lord have mercy on us all. (via Ebay)$115 will get you Sulley's taint with a flower on it.
$120 will let you "create your own RAGEhood."
As a capitalist, I will always understand charging a premium price for a customized item. When I was in grade school, I wanted a baby blue iPhone 3G from Colorware more than I wanted to pass Genetics. This listing gets a tip of the hat for customizable ears. (via Etsy)$145 will get you this Hello Kitty-themed spirit hood.
Hello Kitty isn't even a cat. Wake up, people. (via Etsy)$160 will get you this reversible spirit hood.
The seller says that "for a more subdued look," the wearer can "wear the fur on the inside." (Pictured) The Oxford Dictionary has a slightly different definition of the word "subdued."$230 will get you this spirit hood that is also a jacket.
Because why would you only want to look horrible at festivals? (via SpiritHoods)$500 will get you a "Shaman Lion Hood with Crystal Activation and Feathers."
Last but not least, you can spend $500 of your own money on THIS. The list price may seem steep, but the paradox it presents is priceless. Think about everyone you know who would spend $500 on an obscure accessory. Now, think about everyone who would buy a spirit hood. Is there any overlap? Didn't think so. (via Etsy)This concludes my latest quest for helpful consumer advice. If you're okay with taking jabs at Native American folklore and want to buy a spirit hood, forget the expensive stuff and opt for something cheap and cheerful. I leave you all with this question for the ages (via Yahoo):
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If you're looking to spend $20 on a spirit hood, you're spoiled for choice. When you consider the fact that your spirit hood is made up of a few dollars worth of stuff and will soon enough be covered in dust and Naked Grape boxed wine, it's really hard to justify going above this price point. (via Etsy)$60 will get you this athletic-inspired California Trojans spirit hood.
…and it's actually kind of awesome. If I was worried that I would get lost in the darkness after The Hudson Project deteriorated into anarchy, I would 100% wear this. (via Etsy)$95 will get you this spirit hood with a pouch for your iPhone
And may the Lord have mercy on us all. (via Ebay)$115 will get you Sulley's taint with a flower on it.
$120 will let you "create your own RAGEhood."
As a capitalist, I will always understand charging a premium price for a customized item. When I was in grade school, I wanted a baby blue iPhone 3G from Colorware more than I wanted to pass Genetics. This listing gets a tip of the hat for customizable ears. (via Etsy)$145 will get you this Hello Kitty-themed spirit hood.
Hello Kitty isn't even a cat. Wake up, people. (via Etsy)$160 will get you this reversible spirit hood.
The seller says that "for a more subdued look," the wearer can "wear the fur on the inside." (Pictured) The Oxford Dictionary has a slightly different definition of the word "subdued."$230 will get you this spirit hood that is also a jacket.
Last but not least, you can spend $500 of your own money on THIS. The list price may seem steep, but the paradox it presents is priceless. Think about everyone you know who would spend $500 on an obscure accessory. Now, think about everyone who would buy a spirit hood. Is there any overlap? Didn't think so. (via Etsy)This concludes my latest quest for helpful consumer advice. If you're okay with taking jabs at Native American folklore and want to buy a spirit hood, forget the expensive stuff and opt for something cheap and cheerful. I leave you all with this question for the ages (via Yahoo):
