A Clubber's Guide to Surviving Art Basel Miami

Mixpak's Jubilee takes us through where to party, eat, and escape the madness this year.

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Dec 1 2016, 10:18am

Over its 15-year lifespan in Miami, Art Basel has developed into one of those weeks. You know, the kind of clusterfuck like WMC, SXSW, and Coachella where you're sure to see the same 50 people everywhere—including last year's hookups that you're trying to avoid. In addition to the 20+ satellite art fairs with galleries from across the globe, Art Basel Miami is packed with various receptions, raves, parties, live performances, and openings. It's easy to feel completely lost between all the options you have for eating, partying, and topless sunbathing everywhere from South Beach to Wynwood, Midtown, and downtown Miami.

For your guidance, we spoke with Mixpak's Jubilee on how to do Art Basel the right way. Few are better versed in the pursuit of pleasure in Miami than the flamingo-loving DJ and producer. While she is currently based in New York City, she grew up in Miami and lived back and forth between there and New York until 2013. Her recent debut album on Mixpak, After Hours, was inspired by long late night drives through South Florida. She's also been spinning at Art Basel parties for years, in addition to playing the city's Peach Fuzz parties since they started five years ago.

Direct from her hammock on South Beach (or wherever she's currently chilling in Miami), Jubilee takes us through where to party, eat, and chill this year—and gave us the ultimate list of "do's and don'ts" so you can pretend you're in Miami for the "art" better than everyone else.

WHERE TO PARTY

1. 12 Hours of NAAFI

Date/Time: Thursday, December 1, 5PM-5AM

Venue: Coyo Taco

Headliners: Venus X, Jubilee, Tygapaw, Lao, Mexican Jihad, Fausto Bahia, and Sangree

Why you should go: "For many reasons, not just because I am playing, but because if you have ever been to a NAAFI party in either Mexico City and/or worldwide at this point you know. That crew is one of my favorites doing it in dance music right now and they have teamed up with Red Bulland invited Venus X, Tygapaw, Santa Muerte, and me to join them. Pretty much my dream party because it's at Coyo Taco."

2. Peach Fuzz

Dates/Times: Thursday, December 1, TBA; Friday, December 2, 10PM-5AM

Venues: Sidebar; The Dog

Headliners: Brenmar, DZA, Jubilee, Austin Millz, Dave Edwards

Why you should go: "Started here, Peach Fuzz is the best party in Miami so whatever they are doing you should definitely go to. It's just a straight up party with straight up good DJs always. It's never been bad. They are doing one Friday with Brenmar's label, High End Times, and another one on Thursday at Sidebar in collaboration with 143, Sosupersam's party."

3. Know Wave

Date/Time: November 30-December 4, 2016

Venue: TBD

Headliners: Venus X, ASAP Mob, Virgil Abloh, Chillin's Island, Francis and The Lights, Lil Silva, Tommy Genesis, Joey Badass, Theophilus London, Brian Belott, Elara Pictures, Michael Genovese, Lucien Smith, Sudden Star, Onyx Collective, Nike Boi, Andres Ruhwald, Beniji B

Why you should go: "I don't know where Know Wave is set up in Miami yet, but I know it exists and you should go. I am."

4. Resident Advisor at Art Basel

Date/Time: Wednesday, November 30, 10:00 PM - 6:00 AM

Venue: The Factory at Magic City Studios

Headliners: Floating Points, Dam Funk, The Black Madonna, Amtrac

Why you should go: "Because The Black Madonna, Floating Points and Dam Funk are all playing together...on a Wednesday...in Miami. It doesn't get much better than that in my bok and I will be there from start to finish. SO READY."

5. Rinsed's Mama Matrix: Most Mysterious

Date/Time: December 3, 10:00 PM

Venue: Secret Loft Location TBA

Headliners: Jubilee, Otto Von Schirach, Aquarian, Katie Rex, Dan Wender + Blacky II

Why you should go: "This will be Rinsed's first Miami party. It is just always a DIY warehouse rave in NYC or whatever other city something is popping in. It never disappoints. Sometimes they don't even have to put the line up on the flyer. People always know it's good."

6. The Do-Over

Date/Time: Saturday, December 3, 10PM

Venue: The Dog

Headliners: The Do-Over Soundsystem and friends

"The Dog is a week long thing that has a ton of good stuff going on so it's a good go-to, and Saturday will have special guests."

WHERE TO FUEL UP

1. For coffee and churrasco: "I don't know about you all, but find me at David's Cafe. It's been moved a bunch of times, but it's currently on Alton Road, has the best coffee and a completely underrated churrasco dish. It's not anything cute and fancy. It's perfect to me, and I never ever go to Miami without going there."

2. For ceviche and steak: "Ceviche 105 is so necessary. A huge selection of Peruvian Ceviche dinners along with a million other choices if you aren't into the whole fish thing. There is a sliced steak with french fries that I wish I could eat every day. I always have the Causa with Octopus and Olives and make sure you try the Chicha Morada to drink. There is a Rotisserie Chicken spot next door that they opened as well with a much more chill atmosphere and most of the main ceviche dishes on the menu as well."

3. For sandwiches on-the-go: "Publix. Yes, the grocery store, specifically for a Publix Sub. If you are busy af like I am during Basel sometimes you don't have time for the sit down take 90 minutes (or double that) to eat anything. This is NOT NYC. Everything is slow. So grab a Publix Sub or another one of their meals. I am so tired of tourists and their Le Sanwicherie love. They don't know that Publix subs are the REAL deal. It's a thing."

4. For an Instagrammy local lunch: "I think I ate at Lemoni Cafe every day of my life when I lived in Miami. They have big healthy salads and sandwiches, wine, coffee, desserts--really everything you need. The staff is lovely, and it's a nice atmosphere to sit and chill with a friend or to grab take out. They also have a very cute Instagram."

WHERE TO TAKE A BREATHER

1. For yoga and topless pool lounging: "The Standard Spa, because duh. I love Soho House but just think about all of the Soho House members that will be in town this week. HA."

2. For sweating out the booze and swimming: "I personally like paddleboarding for some chill time and to get ALL the way in the water. And Miami Beach Paddleboard is on the quieter side of South Beach, near The Standard. I was so scared to do it at first, but I wound up being a pro by the end."

3. For some anti-art basketball: "You can also leave the Basel madness for more madness. Basketball madness. I find Miami Heat NBA games very relaxing but some people may not. I can zone out and drink a beer with a friend and watch my favorite sport in my favorite town."

JUBILEE'S ART BASEL DO'S AND DON'TS

- Don't wait in line or fight to get into a party you wouldn't even go to in your hometown. I see that a lot. It makes me cringe.

- Don't expect Uber or any cab to be your friend.

- Don't expect anyone to believe that you really like art.

- Do use your Spanish skills.

- Don't expect to just be able to grab something to eat real quick. Give yourself 2 hours if you are sitting down in a restaurant.

- Do expect traffic, lots of it.

- Don't ask the DJ to charge your phone. Buy a Mophie for fucks sake.