Here’s Every Minor British Celebrity You Should Book For Your Next Club Night

It would seem there are two paths to becoming a DJ. Either you start at the bottom, play unloved warm-up sets to empty rooms, barely earning enough to pay for the bus home, before gradually crawling your way up the ladder; or you just 'be on the telly'. The latter, as a model, has its benefits. You can skip many of the cumbersome elements involved with building a reputation from scratch, hell, you don't even have to learn how to DJ if you don't want to! All it takes is a booking agent, a relatively famous name (or at least a name that was famous in the last 8 to 10 years), and a good knowledge of regional, provincial superclubs.

It would seem that the world of celebrity DJs is a blossoming economy. There are, of course, high profile examples that have risen to our attention more recently. RJ Mitte (Walt Jr from Breaking Bad), Kristian Nairn (Hodor from Game of Thrones), and of course Paris Hilton, yet these names very much count as the currently trending echelon of celebrity DJs. There are, on the other hand, a tier of B to Z listers slogging away all year round to bring beats, meet and greets to the nation.

Fascinated by this culture, and also curious to find out if Aled Jones really is available for drum & bass sets, we set upon the websites of events management companies and booking agents to see who was available for booking. In search of the great and good, in the world of celebrity DJs. Here are the best we could find.

At the beginning of this clip, showcasing Danny behind the ones and twos a few years ago, he informs the crowd "I am quite off my fucking nut." Now, if there is one thing we'd want Danny Dyer to shout during his DJ set, one phrase that would truly leaving us feeling that we'd enjoyed the full Danny Dyer experience, it's "I am quite off my fucking nut."

Dick and Dom aren't just in the Bungalow you know! They are also in medium sized music venues on weekends, playing Rage Against the Machine and shouting "that's why they call it a fucking TUUUUUNE" at students. It actually looks pretty gassed to be fair.

Love his acerbic, biting one-liners just before the ad-breaks on Rude Tube? Then you'll love him playing Rage Against the Machine to a load of students. Genuinely quite staggered that there is this much money to be made from playing Rage Against the Machine to students.

Dane has actually been smashing it on the celebrity DJ front, playing Marbella, Tenerife, and even appearing in Aiya Napa alongside DJ Luck and MC Neat. He also smashed it a few years ago on Come Dine With Me, serving langoustines, beef tenderloin, and bread and butter pudding. The theme for his evening was "funky, cool, and fashionable." Also, we realise that isn't exactly a "video" of him in action, but doesn't that simple image say it all?

It's Jay from The Inbetweeners! Let's have a photo Jay! Bus Wanker! Epic and legendary.

We can't help but feel this grainy footage from 2011 doesn't really do the Gareth Gates DJ set experience justice. For a better idea of the buzz he is generating please note that he recently hit the headlines after an appearance at Flares and Reflex in Plymouth. Hype.

Gavlaaaaaaaaaaar! It's only cheeky chappy Mat Horne, a man surely resigned to having his name followed by the words "Gavin and Stacey" in brackets for the rest of time.

Do you remember Kate Lawler? Kate Lawler who won Big Brother 3? Kate Lawler. No, not Kat, Kate. Kate. Kate. For fuck's sa…KATE. No? Oh okay, well she's available for DJ sets, so um, bear that in mind. Alright? Cheers.

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