Are These Really the Most Embarrassing Club Photos of All Time?
Sometimes the worst thing that's ever happened to you is just matter of perspective.
A totally un-embarrassing photo of a club by Jake Lewis.
People get pissed in nightclubs and people do embarrassing things when they're pissed, so going to a club means you're either going to do something embarrassing yourself or witness someone else plumbing new personal depths. Some people find the misfortune of others really funny. The people behind Embarrassing Nightclub Photos seem to think there is, at any rate.
The other week The Sun decided to have a look at some of "the most cringe-worthy boozy moments caught on camera," as posted by the Embarrassing Nightclub Photos crew, labelling them, "the 12 worst photos ever taken in a nightclub."
We decided that it was only right and proper to actually examine just how embarrassing those photos were. Here's what we found out.
1) An Embarrassingly Old Man
This is just an old man in a club being very sensible and wearing earplugs because clubs are quite loud places and older people are more likely to have sensitive hearing so I'm not really sure what it is that he's doing embarrassing. Unless he's supposed to be embarrassed for being old, which seems a bit unfair. OK, that jacket is a bit OTT but sometimes all you wanna wear out is a 4XL denim jacket, a huge tallboy t-shirt and some box fresh Timbs, y'know?
2) Someone Puking Embarrassing Vomit
Being sick isn't particularly good obviously, but it's also not that cringe-worthy. What I see here is, actually, a very touching scene of friendship. A moment of togetherness in the face of adversity that's all too often missing in the harsh me-me-me age we're living through. She's being sick now, but in twenty minutes, Claire's going to be back on the WKDs and having more fun than the rest of us.
3) Embarrassing Bloke Embarrassingly Doesn't Like Shots
The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world that shots were a good idea. Shots are the preserve of the thick, of the desperate, of the people who don't actually know how to drink but have decided, for reasons they'll never dare delve into, that getting pissed REALLY QUICKLY is better than enjoying alcohol properly. The second someone suggests getting the shots in is the second a night out withers and dies. You might as well fuck off there and then, because being at home in bed by 11.23 on a Friday night with Graham Norton for company is infinitely better than spunking a tenner on four Reverse Cowgirls in Wetherspoons and immediately puking up. I know how the dude in the middle feels. I am that dude and he has nothing to be embarrassed about. I grew up and learned to stick to my guns and now I drink pints of ale in clubs and have no mates—but at least I've not had to bang a shot in four years.
4) Embarrassing Woman Embarrassingly Spills Drinks
This is an undeniably good photo. Everything about it is utterly perfect. Are you embarrassed by beauty? Do you shy away from the pleasures life (occasionally) affords you? No. You don't. What you do instead is look at a photo of a girl spilling drinks really badly and think, "Maybe it's worth the stress and the anxiety and the overdrafts and grim slide into a lonely death because I saw this photo. I saw this photo." That's what you do.
5) Embarrassing Violent Projectile Vomit
On the other hand, this photo is an absolutely vile, disgusting, degrading encapsulation of everything that is wrong with the world. This is utterly abject on every level conceivable. Mainly because it sort of looks like the girl on the right is fellating a dick made out of hardened vomit. I wouldn't say that it's embarrassing, but I will do anything within my powers to never have to look at it again.
6) Embarrassing Calculator
Eurgh, learning is SO embarrassing! Are you knowledge-shaming now?
7) Embarrassing Skin Tone Looks Slightly Heightened
And tan-shaming as well? Christ. It's 2016, bozo. Get with the times.
8) Your Embarrassing Friend Might be Dead
I'm a bit confused by this one. I can see why some people might be embarrassed by the sight of a bloke in a really bad shirt looking at the floor while his mate cops off with a stock image of a Sophisticated Young Woman, but what I see is the start of a wonderfully open relationship. I'd always struggled with the idea of three people going out with each other but I get it now. I'm open to it. I think I'm ready for it.
9) Embarrassing; You've Shat Yourself
Actually this one is pretty bad. She's shat herself.
Embarrassing? Yes, actually.
10) Embarrassing Hand Looks Like Child's Penis
If you don't find things that look like dicks but aren't actually dicks inherently funny then there's something seriously wrong. It's even funnier when said dick-not-dicks look like the dicks that two year olds have. I can guarantee you everyone in this photo laughed too hard it at to ever think about being embarrassed.
11) Embarrassing Bloody Smartphones!
Millennials, eh? Never off their bloody phones! This would only constitute as an embarrassing photo if if had taken place at a wedding and the guy checking his accumulator was the groom. As it stands, it's just a faintly depressingly accurate visual assessment of a night out in 21st century Britain.
12) Your Hair is on Fire...Embarrassed?
You know when you get your head set on fire by the lads and it starts of as a bit of reciprocal-banter, banter that you all enjoy together, like a six pack of tinnies or a pizza, and then it suddenly gets slightly a bit too much and you're really ashamed of yourself for letting things get to this point and you're sat there with a face like thunder and your hair ablaze and...no, let's stop there and admit that setting your mates hair on fire is actually hilarious and not embarrassing at all.
So there you have it: only one of these photos is embarrassing.