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This Artist's Interpretations of Various Substances Will Put You Off Drugs For Life

Since when did taking LSD look like an advert for a graphics card.

Drugs, drugs, drugs. We can't get enough of them. I mean, for the benefit of both our mothers and the company lawyers, we obviously don't advocate taking, buying, or selling drugs in any form and would like to stress just how much fun totally sober clubbing can be. Who needs GHB when good old H20 comes out of taps…for free! Not us. No sir. Not at all.

One man who does dabble a bit, or so it seems, is artist Brian Pollett. Working under the name Pixel-Pusha, Pollett allegedly spent two days boshing anything and everything under the sun and then drew the results up. What he found was, it turned out, interpreting the strange, chemically-induced behavioural alterations of various narcotic substances via the medium of art actually results in you making things like this:

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And this:

Which is horrifying. Drugs aren't like this, are they? Drugs don't make you feel like you've got some larval being worming its way out of your brain, do they? Has anyone ever snorted a fat white line of Persil-cut-coke through a ratty fiver and thought, "Fuck me, you know what this feels like? This feels like the feeling I've wanted all my life, the feeling I've been trying to find ever since dad left mum: I want to be a flamingo. This is it. This is what I've always wanted, I've just never been brave enough to admit it. All I really want in this life is to be a nice, pink bird, that people go "Awwww" over when they see them at the zoo. Imprison me, pen me in, let me be me, for the first time in my life. Let me fly away,"? We really, really, really hope not.

Honestly, obviously something like LSD works on everyone in very, very different ways, but if a mate of yours told you he was going to lock himself away with for the best part of three weeks with a massive sack of drugs, and he was going to do all the drugs, and then after doing the drugs he was going to make art based on what doing all those drugs did to him, and he said, "Hey, wanna see my LSD painting? I think I really nailed just how utterly fucking alien doing LSD is," and you got to his house and he made you cover your eyes and then he said, "Ta-dah!" and you opened your eyes and this is what you saw, how would you react? Honestly, how would you react?

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You'd either say:

A) "Ah, that's nice, well done mate. Say, have you got any biscuits in? Bit peckish."
B) "The colours are nice."
C) "Fucking hell, what is that? Honestly, what is that meant to be? An advert for a graphics card? That's what you thought LSD was like? An advert you'd see on the tube, on a shit line, for a new sinusitis tablet?"

Any of those would be totally valid, by the way. A good mate always has biscuits in, appreciates compliments, and can accept well intentioned criticism.

Pollett saved the best till last though. On his final day of druggy debauchery, he got absolutely fucking trollied on the most serious, most dangerous drug of all: Love. Yep, he actually did an entry on "Love" and it looks exactly how you think it might:

Love looks like crisps in bed. Love looks like silent bus journeys. Love looks like watching a film neither of you want to watch just to avoid the gaping chasm of silence. Love looks like having showers together to save on hot water. Love looks like everything in your life falling apart. Love does not look like this.

So thank you, Brian: you've put us off drugs for life. Nice one. First it was the minions, now it's this.

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