Before Uber arrived and we all became obsessed with how many gold stars we could get for behaving ourselves in the back of a Toyota Prius, public transport was as integral to a big night out as chips or mephedrone. For many of us—read: those of us who have to accept the night bus in order to afford another round of drinks—it still is, and just as the club offers an expedition into dark, clanking mystery, so the journey to and from is an adventure in its own right.
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Whether it's jumping aboard an adorable P4 to Brixton, sliding around the tram to Deansgate, or losing your mind on the last Merseyrail into town, the after-dark commute can be a perilous but rich affair. The constant wobble of wine bottles as they roll up and down the top deck, the stank of vomit and aftershave, gloopy mascara tears and thick April rain. Public transport on a big Saturday night is an odyssey of suburban escape and big-city promise—a pilgrimage of sticky shoes, wide-eyes and bolted barriers. Come with us now as we journey through the dos and don'ts of night-time voyages over broken tarmac, pausing only for hilarious anecdotes and temporary traffic lights. Start your engines, top up your Oysters, please move down inside the content.
1. Timing
2. Safety in Numbers
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3. Lads on Tour
4. Doing Drugs
5. Being on Drugs
6. Drinking Tinnies
7. Playing Music
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