10 Things Douchebags Say to Female DJs

Remember the "Nina Kraviz in a bathtub" shitstorm? 

Last month, The Huffington Post highlighted some pretty disheartening stats about women in music: according to a recent report, just 10 percent of performers at music festivals around the world were female in the past year, and women comprised only 9.3 percent of artists listed on music label rosters. Further illustrating the dire state of affairs, the dance music label Spinnin' Records recently tweeted a picture of a CD-J that resembled a stovetop, along with the snarky note, "Thanks @PioneerDJ for finally developing a CD-J suitable for women." Classy.

As a music writer, I've been hanging around a scene comprised almost completely of dude DJs for something like seven years now. And between countless phone interviews with old heads like Mala and young guns like Jacques Greene for The Pittsburgh City Paper, Pittsburgh's local alt-weekly, backstage and after party access gleaned from covering shows for Resident Advisor and festivals like Detroit's Movement, I've gotten an all-too-familiar understanding of the old "sexism in DJ culture" debate. Plus, I've spun a few times around my fair little city, including at the most testosterone-fueled of all nights, a drum and bass weekly called FUZZ, so when I say I've heard some things, I also mean I've experienced some things firsthand.

Before I jump into the most odious things dudes have said to me and other female DJs, let me slip in a disclaimer that not all guys in dance music are complete pigs--some are just clueless. So the best way I've learned to handle misogyny is to laugh and move on. Which isn't to say you shouldn't have a snappy comeback in your arsenal too. Herewith, ten of the lamest things douchebags say to lady DJs.

1. "I'll book you. People love girl DJs!" 

Sometimes you'll encounter male promoters who really don't care what you sound like, or even what you look like. They think of you as a rare commodity--and you might as well capitalize on their ignorance. You better kick some serious ass though, or you'll just keep getting booked for having boobs.

2. "Did your boyfriend give you those tunes?" 

Selecting music is the bulk of the work. And when a lady dips into the depths of techno where Bleaching Agent and Drumcell fester, some nerdy dude must have been puppeteering her set list. At least according to shitheads.

3. "If you show some more skin, I bet the crowd will love you." 

This one is disgusting for obvious reasons. But it's also funny, because most DJ booths tuck you away where they can't really see what you're (not) wearing anyway. Sure, I'll show you my hot forearms if you just shut up and dance.

4. "Don't you think it's a little weird to play DJ Slugo's 'Pussy Licking' song when, you know, you have a pussy?" 

Well, no, because what kind of a woman would not support licking the beaver?

5. "You're one of my top three favorite female DJs" 

Oh cool, do you have a separate iTunes playlist where you keep us?

6. "If you let me go on a bit early, I'll let you do some of my coke." 

Yes, there are those cokeheads out there who'll do anything for a free bump. But no self-respecting lady DJ would ever give up the decks for drugs. Because she already has her own ish, duh.

7. "Great set. Wanna go back to my hotel room?" 

It's the ultimate mindfuck when a dude sees you finish a set… and still thinks you're a groupie.

8. "Here, let me show you how to set up the mixer." 

Ridiculously patronizing, especially when you've already been booked to play the show.

9. You played a bunch of ghetto house that had the word "bitch" all over the place but I can't call a woman a bitch?" 

I may not be a feminist scholar, but I do know that the appropriateness of a word is all about context. I'll shake my ass to some ungentlemanly lyrics—not because I like them, but because I'm not engaging them—and that doesnt mean I have to take it from you.

10. "I'm putting together a Ladies Night. Wanna play it?"

When you're just starting out, you can get away with this as an opportunity to make a little dough. But if you've been playing for longer than, like, a year, take my advice and just walk away from this one. It's the utmost of insults.

Kate Magoc is a Pittsburgh writer who keeps it really real - @K8Magic