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Burning Man's Missed Connections Are a Hellscape of Snail People, Pineapple Throwers, and Sex Machines

From sex toy-slinging gynecologists to a fateful dance beside the toilet—these desert dwellers won't give up their search for love in the real world.
Photo via Youtube.

Spread throughout a sprawling desert metropolis of blinking lights, bikes, giant metal mechanical tarantulas, and, of course, fire, Burning Man isn't the easiest place to keep track of friends—both new or old. Cell service is also notoriously, and perhaps intentionally, nonexistent, so the notion of adding new friends on Facebook isn't really an option. Fortunately for those longing to connect with lost passersby from the playa, there's Craigslist Missed Connections, the infamous portal for finding people you've passed, briefly encountered, and even those you had a 9-hour conversation with about the perils of fracking while high on mushrooms and then forgot their name. Below are some of the most otherworldly missed connections that have been posted so far following the end of this year's Burn. Good luck in your search!

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1. Where Art Thou, Pineapple Girl?

2. Your Name Was She-Is-Us, And I Wanna Be With You!

3. Your Sweatpants Left Me Speechless.

4. Let's Complete Our Open-Ended Restroom Romance.

5. You Left Me Your Shoes—Take Me With You?

6. Dear Gynecologist from Beverly Hills, I Would Like to Ride Your Sex Machine Again, Please.

7. Snail People, Come Out of Your Shell to Play.