Artwork by Arthur Hickman
Picking out a costume is by far the worst part of all the tacky things Halloween forces upon you. As I meander from one poor idea to the next, I realize that it doesn't matter what you're dressed up as; there will inevitably be too many Donald Trump costumes at whatever gathering you attend, and trying to maneuver through a dark club enmeshed in a lethal concoction of sweat, smoke, and face paint fumes will always be a nightmare.Not many people will be able to decipher what you are in these conditions, which is why dressing like a DJ might be the easiest way to go. The versatility of a DJ costume is crucial. An edgy, mysterious Dubfire costume could also work as a sexy Darth Vader; a Skrillex costume is indistinguishable from an emo teenager stuck in a 2007 MySpace wormhole; a spooky Marshmello costume doubles as trash pulled from a landfill in Staten Island.Crucially, dressing up as a DJ also doesn't take that much work, as long as you have the right accessories. I could celebrate Halloween shirtless, start random Twitter beefs, and say I'm DJ Sneak. Or, if all else fails and I end up being too tired to leave the couch, I could print out all of Sasha's "Sorry, flight's delayed and I'm sick" tweets, glue them to a black T-shirt, text my friends that I'm fifteen minutes away, and never show up to the party. Joy!Without further ado, I present to you 16 DJs you can attempt to embody this Halloween season. Always remember, a DJ costume is incomplete unless it has two things within arm's length: a dilapidated Rimowa and an overworked, underpaid tour manager.- Fanny pack, half zipped
- 30 liters of fresh sweat
- Chopped bob wig
- Stained, loose tank top
- Under eye bags- Compass to prevent getting lost while trying to find your true self on some random spirit quest
- Black top hat (bunny not included)
- Strap-on fuzzy beard
- Floor-length silk wizard robe
- Witchcraft "how-to" books written in the blood of a genie
- Telepathic communication with DJ Tennis
- Lunar energy stored in a mason jar- A dirty checkered Van shoe to kick up a fuss when somebody challenges your emo identity
- 2007 band T-shirt covered in cat hair from the archives of Hot Topic
- A family portrait with Skrillex and Diplo as mom and dad as your home screen background
- Fake prescription glasses that are eight times the size of your face
- Six Grammy awards melted down into a skate ramp- Collection of musk and lavender-scented candles from Bath & Body Works
- USB stick comprised of 200 Burning Man videos
- Bundles of burning sage
- Tapestry from a vintage hippie shop in San Francisco to cut and sew into a pair of underwear
- A mood ring that never changes from black
- A cloud- White garbage pail
- Sharpie to draw on facial features
- White shirt and jeans
- A handwritten list of the best YouTube videos of Tiesto making hand-hearts to a crowd of teens- Bottle of sake with an ENTER symbol on it (can be drawn on with Marshmello's Sharpie)
- Mesh t-shirt in a custom shade of the darkest black known to mankind
- $8,000 mixer
- Bottle-blonde wig
- A shake-weight for men
- Booth monitor that you can throw at the most annoying person at the Halloween party- Voluminous black wig
- Plump, glistening lips with black lipstick smeared on them
- A shirt with the following inspirational quote: "Roses are red, violets are blue, be nice to those around you, and I'm the queen of fucking everything, including techno, and your mother, bitch."- Beef (literal and figurative)
- A person-sized whoopie cushion
- Twitter app to start fights with fans
- A vintage record player strapped to your chest at all times to prove that it's better than a CDJ- Glass of Dom Perignon
- Kaleidoscopic-print turban
- IV bag of fresh, nutrient-enriched blood bought from the black market
- P90X intense workout video
- A cocoon- Dubstep blender
- Framed photograph of Calvin Harris exiting Taylor Swift's TriBeCa apartment
- A hollow rainbow piñata named Gerald
- Snapchat app to document the trials and tribulations of being a grown man who screams at a piñata named Gerald
- Fifty cats named after emojis- Black cape
- An iPhone 7+ to Instagram high quality photos of sushi and exotic seafood
- Black and white Rick Owens sneakers that resemble gothic clown shoes
- Loose-fitting black pants that will flow freely with the wind- Baby blue contacts with dilated pupils
- European assistant who shamelessly hashtags your Instagram posts with your own name
- Riccardo Tisci's phone number- Nike Air Max's in an exotic color only sold from an exclusive gala in Dusseldorf
- Socks with diamond nooks to rest toes in
- G2 private jet
- HYTE sweatshirt
- Detroit Tigers snapback worn at a 76-degree angle- A pack of Marlboro LightsThree blonde assistants handpicked from the Israeli army
- Yves Saint Laurent Chelsea boots
- Colorful feather braided into hair
- A magical white glove that has been blessed by David BlaineSteven:- Tray of homemade empanadas to constantly Snapchat
- Bodega bacon, egg, and cheese hanging out of your pocket
- Black bomber jacket with a hoodie underneath
- Limited-edition JordansChristian:- Seven thousand grams of marijuana
- Perfected New York twang
- Diamond-encrusted necklace that says GOD- Fake ID
- Black scoop neck t-shirt from the Baby Gap
- Check to give your publicity team for helping you get the number one spot on the DJ Mag Top 100 DJs listFollow Austin Gebbia on Twitter
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1. Ricardo Villalobos
- 30 liters of fresh sweat
- Chopped bob wig
- Stained, loose tank top
- Under eye bags
2. Damian Lazarus
- Black top hat (bunny not included)
- Strap-on fuzzy beard
- Floor-length silk wizard robe
- Witchcraft "how-to" books written in the blood of a genie
- Telepathic communication with DJ Tennis
- Lunar energy stored in a mason jar
3. Skrillex
- A family portrait with Skrillex and Diplo as mom and dad as your home screen background
- Fake prescription glasses that are eight times the size of your face
- Six Grammy awards melted down into a skate ramp
4. Lee Burridge
- USB stick comprised of 200 Burning Man videos
- Bundles of burning sage
- Tapestry from a vintage hippie shop in San Francisco to cut and sew into a pair of underwear
- A mood ring that never changes from black
- A cloud
5. Marshmello
- Sharpie to draw on facial features
- White shirt and jeans
- A handwritten list of the best YouTube videos of Tiesto making hand-hearts to a crowd of teens
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6. Richie Hawtin
- Mesh t-shirt in a custom shade of the darkest black known to mankind
- $8,000 mixer
- Bottle-blonde wig
- A shake-weight for men
- Booth monitor that you can throw at the most annoying person at the Halloween party
7. Nicole Moudaber
- Plump, glistening lips with black lipstick smeared on them
- A shirt with the following inspirational quote: "Roses are red, violets are blue, be nice to those around you, and I'm the queen of fucking everything, including techno, and your mother, bitch."
8. DJ Sneak
- A person-sized whoopie cushion
- Twitter app to start fights with fans
- A vintage record player strapped to your chest at all times to prove that it's better than a CDJ
9. Sven Väth
- Kaleidoscopic-print turban
- IV bag of fresh, nutrient-enriched blood bought from the black market
- P90X intense workout video
- A cocoon
10. Dillon Francis
- Framed photograph of Calvin Harris exiting Taylor Swift's TriBeCa apartment
- A hollow rainbow piñata named Gerald
- Snapchat app to document the trials and tribulations of being a grown man who screams at a piñata named Gerald
- Fifty cats named after emojis
11. Dubfire
- An iPhone 7+ to Instagram high quality photos of sushi and exotic seafood
- Black and white Rick Owens sneakers that resemble gothic clown shoes
- Loose-fitting black pants that will flow freely with the wind
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12. Dixon
- European assistant who shamelessly hashtags your Instagram posts with your own name
- Riccardo Tisci's phone number
13. Loco Dice
- Socks with diamond nooks to rest toes in
- G2 private jet
- HYTE sweatshirt
- Detroit Tigers snapback worn at a 76-degree angle
14. Guy Gerber
- Yves Saint Laurent Chelsea boots
- Colorful feather braided into hair
- A magical white glove that has been blessed by David Blaine
15. The Martinez Brothers
- Bodega bacon, egg, and cheese hanging out of your pocket
- Black bomber jacket with a hoodie underneath
- Limited-edition JordansChristian:- Seven thousand grams of marijuana
- Perfected New York twang
- Diamond-encrusted necklace that says GOD
16. Martin Garrix
- Black scoop neck t-shirt from the Baby Gap
- Check to give your publicity team for helping you get the number one spot on the DJ Mag Top 100 DJs listFollow Austin Gebbia on Twitter