Teenagers Drag Their Mums to Skrillex Concerts

Until recently, in the UK we weren't completely sold on the whole Skrillex phenomenon. The 15 year old kid from Alabama whose only previous exposure to dance music is watching his cousin striptease to the Jonas Brothers, he's of course going to have his mind blown by Skrillex's daft punk. But here in Britain, where rave broke the mainstream when our dads were teens, and where dubstep was born back when Skrill was still playing Limp Bizkit covers in his parent's basement, Moore seemed less like the second coming and more like a dance novelty; a bit like Rednex but with more Diplo.

However, after a slow and gradual process of acceptance in the build up to Glastonbury, by the time the DJ laid waste to Worthy Farm the penny had more or less dropped for us Brits. From the broadsheets to niche dance sites like FACT, the British press where uninanomous is their praise for Skrill's set at Glastonbury 2014. FACT dubbed the performance "a masterpiece" while in her 5 star review for The Guardian, Kate Hutchinson wrote "It's as unsubtle as a shotgun to the face, but it's impossible to be bored.

Last week, a two hour video of Sonny Moore's banner date at Red Rocks was put out pon da net via Live Nation. Bingo, we thought - ringside seats at a Skrill concert: an ideal opportunity to make our own minds up about Skrillex.

Here's a couple of we learnt watching Skrillex at Red Rocks:

1. Skrillex and EDM are two different things

Sure, Sonny Moore does electronic dance music. And yeah, the same electronic dance music that Sonny Moore does can be credited with kickstarting EDM. But Sonny Moore does not do 'EDM'. FACT. If you can't tell the difference between what Skrillex does here and the music of, say, Danny Avila then you're just plain mad.

2. Red Rocks is a fucking AMAZING setting for a concert

Red Rocks is basically the mountain from Close Encounters with seating. Maybe one day a good act will play there, as opposed to Coldplay and jam cunts Dave Matthew's Band, who ran a close second to the Bosnian Crisis for "worst things that happened in the 90s".

3. Red Rocks Is a fucking STUPID venue for a rave 

Traditionally, raves were held in the English countryside in someone's bog. Back then if by chance you fell over while dancing on drugs the worst you could expect was a face full of pig shit and some laughing from passers by.

It's safe to that bunging 10.000 people onto what is essentially a tiered rock slide set at a vertiginous 35% gradient and encouraging them to dance to frenetic machine-step isn't really that great an idea, because stack it at Red Rocks and the last thing you'll remember is shitting your pants as your tibia passes through your knee joint on the way to your femoral artery.

4. Skrillex is one of those people who can't shout

It's not his fault, but every time Skrill goes to hype the crowd he ends up sounding a bit like a little baby on a trike at the other end of a windy park shouting about dogs.

5. Absolutely nobody is on drugs

There's no way these people are on drugs. I mean, look at these sweatless purity-ring-wearing motherfuckers with their un-dilated pupils and organic happiness. There's not a rictus amphetamine smile between them.

Americans, for the last time, please do drugs. It makes dance music better. In fact, take enough MDMA and you won't even care about the music. You'll be too busy wondering why amazingness tastes so cinnamon-y. And Colorado, you should know better. You can't legalise the herb and stop at the cool drugs. You know what they say: "Weed is for wimps, pills are for pimps". That's not a saying.

(THUMP in no way promotes the use of hard drugs. Don't do drugs. It makes your parents sad and your friends who don't do drugs will hate you, even though you know that you're really funny on drugs and brilliant at dancing. Unless of course you want to. It's a free country.) 

6. Except maybe this girl…

Muuurrrr, what's a Skrillex? I feel pink-y.

7. And these people…

…Probably.

I mean. anyone still sporting a pearl tongue-piercing in 2014 has to be high.

Ooh, snap.

8. EDM concert sets need some dance troupes or something

There's only so many times you can watch a tiny speck on a massive stage doing something with his arms in a DJ booth without it becoming repetitive. We need something more to look at. Breakdancers, famous guest vocalists, people dressed up as shit like in Lion Kings the play - let's gets some bodies on the floor here. How about some interpretative dance, kung fu monks, fire-dancers. Proper Cirque Du Soleil shit.

9. The Mothership Tour stage-set is shit

The guy makes 16 mill in one year and this is the thanks what we get?? Some shit graphics, a drawing of an alien and a Glastonbury spaceship? Lady Gaga had a castle, man. A fucking castle. And a motorbike too. And a dancer ate her frou!

Oh, and the bit where the spaceship "takes off", to much fanfare, but only travels 10 metres cause it's not actually a spaceship…pure Spinal Tap.

10. Disclosure sound better after being Skrillified (1:49)

Heliumated and strafed with candied neon FX. Skrill's refix of 'Latch' actually comes closer to honouring the 'crazy in love' conceit at the heart of Sam Smith's original do-or-die love letter to the one he can't live without.

11. Faded prom-queens clinging desperately to their youth secretly aren't enjoying themselves

Mate, let it go. The 90s are over. You're, like, older than the old one from Hanson, who in fact was 47 at the time of recording "Mmmbop". Go home, listen to some Alanis Morisette and get an early night.

12. Skrillex + reggae = bad (0:20)

The nadir of the set: Skrill acting all Jah Fiah while murdering ragga with cyber-Coki screech-wub, while in the crowd WASP-y Colorada girls inexplicably dance like early 80s rappers (0:20:04).

13. Skrillex + trap = good (0:16)

Yeah, the hybrid works. But then Skrill-step was basically trap before there was such a thing. Seriously.

14. Teenagers drag their mums along to Skrillex concerts

Our heart goes out to this poor old designated driver mum sat on the front row at the concert, who looks about as comfortable as Tipper Gore in Compton and yet simultaneously bored out of her mind. Amazing - bored as well as systematically raked with lasers, mad pyros and 20ft high jets of Co2. Her stoic fuck-my-life body language says it all. You go, scared and bored Colorado Mom. London still loves you.

15. Forget the drop, the secret to Skrill's success is rhythm (24:52)

As perfectly illustrated by the completely humpin' 'NRG', Skrill took Brit dubstep, got rid of the boring half-step metre and ploughed a thousand little rhythms through the remains using Coki's wub creation. What you're hearing is called funk, son. Read about it.

16. Skrillex has a perfectly round bottom…

We get it now. We finally get it. It wasn't his fame and riches and contacts and teeny weeny squeak-voice that bagged Skrill that gawdawful folktronic-er Ellie Goulding. No way, man! It was his perfectly formed peach butt! Dayeem, gurl. How about some fries with that shake?

We didn't really want to notice this, but seeing that the guy on ass-cam #1 seems hell bent on breaching the DJ's lower intestines, it feels somehow noteworthy. Much to Skrill's discomfort, we might add. Aware that ass-cam guy's all over it, when he isn't smoking at the decks (the mad bastard) the poor DJs forever self-consciously pulling his top down to conceal his pride and joy. Much to our disappointment, by the way. Like, phwoaaar, wouldn't mind some of that for my dinner.

17. …But the skinny jeans aren't working. 

Dude, seriously, I've been there: little stocky guys with wrestlers' thighs can't pull off skinny jeans. Invest in some trackies. If nothing else, your balls will thank you.

18. 90s British hardcore does have one legacy in American rave

Namely the 'ardcore glowstick move, as demonstrated by blurry matey in the middle. The action, popular 20 years back amongst speed-gaunt wreckhead job seekers from Rotherham, involves a kind of sped-up centrifugal motion that magically transforms your sticks in to an amazing circle in the air. Well trippy. It's strangely comforting to see some 20 year old Yank in rural America tribute the move 25 years on. Rave on, geez.

19. "Bangarang" is still his best tune (1:31)

Especially when interspersed with badass ignition samples from Pharoahe Monch's "Simon Says"

20. Skrillex has no way of evolving

In the end, the future is uncertain for old Skrill.

Take the talking basslines and wotnot out of this set and what are you really left with? Very little. Apart from converting hip hop into Skrill-brand dubstep, which he seems to do a lot here, where can the DJ really take his music in the future, short of starting completely from scratch. A complete reinvention is on the cards for Skrillex, which we predict will take the form of something a little less commercial friendly. He's a big IDM fan, so maybe that. Either way, events like Red Rocks may soon be a thing of the past for Sonny Moore.

Footage courtesy of Live Nation

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