We Spoke to Five Veteran School Dance DJs to Find Out What the Kids Are Listening to These Days

Although you've probably pushed it as far back as conventional methods of repression will allow, most of you had a clubbing experience before your popped your 'real' nightlife cherry VK in a high street sweatbox. Back in the days when having a double digit age was an enjoyable oddity, there was nothing like whipping out your finest H&M polo shirt for a night down the school disco.

Oh for those simple days of the Macarena and bag after bag of Tangy Toms. Take me back to where I used to be, with my hair gel cracking under the lights of an assembly hall, and the pungent stench of school dinners clinging to every surface possible. Things really were simple back then. There wasn't any cack-handed dropper-dropping on Uber, no sheepishly slinking into the sticky leather of a stranger's Benz to score a sachet of something you shouldn't really be buying. There were no comedowns or hangovers, no overdrafts and sexual health check-ups, no blackened lungs and punctured livers.

I mean, OK, you weren't ever going to hear the latest Tuff City Kids remix from them, but those hardy souls who braved the school halls of our shared childhoods are, in their own way, the living embodiment of what it means to be a DJ. They work a crowd, create a narrative, and leave everyone begging for more. As my youth ebbs further and further away from me, I've found myself wondering about what goes on at a contemporary school disco these days. Lacking the requisite CRB checks, I did all I could do to investigate them and called up a bunch of blokes who play records to sugar-rushing ten year olds.

THUMP: So Dave, how long have you been a DJ?
Dave Lee: For about twenty years now. I try to do all different types. I'm not solely a school disco DJ.

What kind of bangers are hot right now?
I let people have an online playlist to cater to all people coming in, so it varies. But you get a lot of the urban stuff—hip hop and rap—and as you'd expect it goes down really well. But what you don't expect as no one asks for it is the 80s cheesy stuff—and they love it as much as dropping some Flo Rida or Kanye. Everyone goes mental, and two hours later you finish the cheesy stuff and they want more. You turn up with no preconceived ideas of how it's going to go.

So the "Cha Cha Slide" and "Macarena" are still lit?
Oh yeah, you put that stuff on and the floor gets rammed. Everyone's trying to be cool and do the moves to "Gold Digger" but then you chuck on the Macarena and it goes off. It's kind of weird how everyone doesn't care about being cool all of a sudden.

What are your best memories of school discos?
We had one where they all had glowsticks but then they started splitting the glowsticks and pouring it all over their white shirts which was pretty funky. Probably not great for the parents the day after with the washing.

THUMP: How long have you been a school DJ for?
Ian Hanning: Oh crumbs—probably about thirty years. I don't look my age now! I get away with it.

What do that kids want to hear at the moment?
It depends on the age of the school disco, and it can change dramatically. If they're younger we always do what's on the NOW CD at the moment. When I was younger the party songs were "Agadoo" and "YMCA". The equivalent now is "Gangnam Style" and the "Cha Cha Slide."

What kind of stuff do you listen to?
This is going to blow your brain—my true love is ska music. One of my sidelines is DJing for Madness. They're legendary. If you look me up the picture is me and Suggs doing a set together. My love is Madness. I also love the Jam, the Specials and a bit of punk. But I do love a broad range still.

You got any standout sets?
Oh, let me wait for my mind to go into overdrive. Hmm, the cogs are going round. When I do school discos I like to really, really interact. What I like to do is start off with, say, "Gangnam Style". I get everyone to move back ten spaces and then do the dance with them in the crowd. When you've got 200 kids partying it up in the hall with you, it's absolutely fantastic.

THUMP: How long have you been a school disco DJ for?
Big Steve: Forty years.

What kind of tracks do you play at the moment?
Depends on the ages really, a lot of the kids like the latest chart music.

What kind of music do you like?
I really don't like listening to music anymore. I'm a bit bored of it to be honest.

Do you have any funny memories or stories?
Not particularly no, I can't think of any.

What's an average set for you?
(Phone rings) Got another call, sorry, bye.

THUMP: How long have you been a school disco DJ for?
Rob Richardson: Ten years I should think.

What's making the kids throw up their sweets at the moment?
"Whip (Nae Nae)" is a big one. "Gangnam Style", "Cha Cha Slide" are still big. You've got two hours with a set so you start off with those kind of ones. You open with the "Macarena" and say to the boys "is that all you've got?" Then I'll invite them up for requests. It's all about interacting with the queue of twenty or so kids. Then they'll ask for all sorts; what their mum and dad listen to in the car, classic stuff. It's amazing what they do ask for! The important thing is making sure there's no swearing or nothing on the Video DJ that they shouldn't be seeing—the teachers appreciate that!

Do you enjoy music outside of work?
Yeah. Anything from the 50s to unreleased stuff. I am easy-going; I think as a DJ you've got to be. I do clubs in the week and so do Motown Nights, 60s nights, 70s nights. I can do any theme; you just have to understand the era.

Do you have any standout memories?
Loads! You remember the kids' faces, and the great thing is they remember you. If I go into town, the kids will see me and tap mum or dad and point at you. And I'm sat there wondering why they are pointing at me—the parents are confused as well—but then you explain you were the DJ and they remember you. I went to a bar in town recently and they spoke to me and remembered me doing their school disco. Great feeling. When you have those kids there—and you ask them if they're having a good time, and you say that you can't hear them and they scream—it's great.

THUMP: How long have you been on the 1s and 2s?
Oscar Entertainment: Thirty years now!

What kind of tracks are you reloading at the moment?
I only go up to the 11 year olds, so I don't DJ for teenagers. It's still the ones that were big last year; "Uptown Funk" and "Black Magic".

What kind of music are you yourself into?
I enjoy a complete mixture personally, I haven't got any particular genres I like. It depends what mood I'm in.

Do you have any standout memories or funny stories?
I can remember doing one particular Year 6 leavers' do, and I don't know who organised it but it was so over-the-top. It wasn't a private school just a normal one. As you walked into the venue you had the red carpet with the ropes by the side, and either side of that there was a red Ferrari. Just to go into a church hall. Quite bizarre.

Kyle is on Twitter.