We Sent an Inflatable Dinosaur Named Tyra to Cover Splash House

Like a toddler on growth hormones, Splash House seems to grow bigger and rowdier by the month. This time, with acts like A-Trak, Flume, and Gorgon City topping the bill, the event threatened to transcend from splash happy pool party to outright bikini clad mutiny on the streets of Palm Springs. In keeping with the level of ridiculous, we brought roving dinosaur reporter Tyra 2 Turnt to scope the festivities with us, and this is what happened:

The weekender kicked off at the Hard Rock Hotel on Friday night. Either of Headliners Oliver Heldens and Gorgon City could be labelled as the next big thing, but we're pretty sure both have transitioned to big thing already. Sirens, the upcoming Gorgon City album, found its way into the THUMP offices last week and it has feelsy crossover sensation written all over it. Your mom is gonna be vibing to their deep house vibes in six months.

The poolside madness kicks off on Saturday and, by now, the three venues of Splash House have all developed distinct vibes. The Hacienda is the most chill, you can actually hang out there. The Saguaro is rowdy, but still maintains some semblance of bohemia, and the Hard Rock is the Vegas-style shit show.

With wonk-bass it-guy SOPHIE followed by future Australian Prime Minister Flume, THUMP fav Anna Lunoe, and anthropomorphic reptilian superstar Trippy Turtle (Tyra was so DTF, BTW) all in a row, Saturday's daytime lineup made it impossible to leave the Hard Rock, even though the double-dosage of medical-grade chlorine and industrial bleach they have to use in that pool was making us dizzy.

Whereas at the last iteration, there were a bunch of bands booked to play DJ sets, this time round, there were more straight up live performances: Cut Copy, Chela, and Jagwar Ma all played on the larger Hard Rock stage. The latter in particular are essential listening - Aussie psych-pop with early 90s Madchester vibes.

Every so often, Jason Bentley plays a set that reminds you that he's more than a sultry voice on the radio and an impeccably groomed man. He welcomed the night at The Saguaro with tasteful and surprisingly upfront selections.

In the night time, the main afterparty is back at The Hard Rock, where I saw a man become overcome with grief when security insisted he put a shirt on. Our homies Cut Snake took on THUMP's Instagram duties for the weekend, but judging by this picture, they wandered into the desert and got lost at some point:

Splash House is all about rallying. After getting basted and baking in the sun all day, you're liable to feel washed out by the time night falls. Keep at it, young reveler, for once the sun goes down, things get weird. Let us explain: There's the party. Then there are the official after-parties. And then there are the after-after parties in hotel rooms. This is generally where all the bad decisions are made, as evidenced by Tyra's unfortunate dalliance with Justin Martin in a bathroom:

Splash House is an Uber driver's dream. Between the pool party and a nearby salsa convention, the mostly middle-aged male chauffeurs were just giddy with creepiness. Literally, every one used the phrase "eye candy." Hey, bro, that's not cool, bro. Did you know that Elijah Wood is in a crate-digging, vinyl-spinning DJ duo named Wooden Wisdom? Tyra did. Homie thought he was being low-key but homegirl was all over him:

On Sunday, all of the technology in Palm Springs melted. En route to the Hard Rock on Sunday, our shuttle broke down in 108 degree heat. The riders were downright soggy with sweat as a "Move the bus!" chant drowned out the sad chugging of the failed engine. When we finally arrived (with some help from Tyra, see pic below), a Chromeo DJ set had stalled because a CDJ overheated. Dave1 kept the crowd hyped before his lil brother A-trak took to the decks.

Sometimes the best sets you'll see at Splash House are surprises from guys on the come up with something to prove. As I wandered from that Chromeo malfunction back into the Hard Rock for some A/C, I ran into some whompy b2b selections by Modus and Brady Spear. Much dig. A standout set from the weekend was Bixel Boys at The Saguaro. They've made this setting their home and got the vibes on point and brought some energy instead of falling into the poolside trap. Maybe we're biased because Tyra ended her weekend playing b2b and crowdsurfing with them, but the hometown boys are onto something.

Wax Motif bossed the final Hard Rock afterparty by going b2b with everyone-in-the-world, including Astronomar, the Aston Shuffle, and Viceroy for the kids committed to rinsing until Monday. And then, sunburned and sore, we washed up at the end of things. Here's a picture of me and Tyra contemplating the weekend. P.S, I'm a flamingo.

Words: Jemayel Khawaja
Executive Creative Director of Tyra 2 Turnt: Ben de Ayora
(The classier) photos by: Juliana Bernstein. Website // Instagram

More Splashin':
I Got Moist at Splash House
Figgy's "The Truth" is Dystopian Poolside Music

Jemayel is still moist - @JemayelK