Avicii buys a fat mansion, Hulk's son sets out to become a famous DJ, and Paris Hilton already IS a famous DJ.
NOTHING STOPS JUST JAM
After Just Jam was shut down by the Man last week, the promoters were like, "Fuck it," and did the damn thing via live stream for about 35,000 viewers. If that's not a win, we don't know what is.
GUETTA TOPS BEATPORT CHARTS WITH AVICII REMIX
This is YOUR fault for buying the track, people.
NEWSFLASH: AVICII HAS AN INSANELY LAVISH MANSION
We'd rather live in Avicii's huge LA mansion than in Yanukovych's abandoned estate, or the vacation palace he was building on the Black Sea. That's right, we read the news.
LAIDBACK LUKE ROUNDHOUSE KICKS YO FACE
Luke's wifey Gina Turne is getting ready to pop out a lil DJ baby, so she hasn't been able to instruct yoga classes. Fortunately, Luke has a teaching gig of his own. On March 28, he'll assume the position of Kung Fu professor at the Fountainbleu hotel for Ultra. Listen up, because this dude has won medals and shit.
This week, Hulk Hogan's turdish offspring up and decided to be a fuckin' DJ. There are so many jokes to make about this that we're overwhelmed and speechless, so we'll leave it to your imaginations and the teaser for his new bang0r.
V MAGAZINE TAKES DJ PARIS HILTON SERIOUSLY
We here at THUMP are divided on the issue of V Magazine's recent interview with Paris Hilton, in which she discusses her aspirations to be a famous DJ. Some of us want to impale ourselves with 18-inch-long dildos shaped like imaginary dragon cocks until our guts come spewing out of our mouths, ears, and eye sockets. Other THUMP staffers are starting to like Miss Hilton, which makes the first contingent reach for the industrial-sized bottles of Crisco stashed in the VICE kitchen.
RBMA TAKES OVER NYC…AGAIN…
Yay! RBMA is coming back to New York! You guys... where'd we…put the Crisco…?