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Somebody Unsuccessfully Tried to Sneak a Large Bag of Fruits and Vegetables Into a Rave This Weekend

And we think we've worked out why...

This article appeared originally on THUMP UK.

Nobody likes being searched on their way into a club, but with the constant threat of closure looming over every British nightclub like an incoming thunderstorm, we now more than ever need to respect their right to make sure we aren't bringing inappropriate items in with us. Inappropriate items like drugs, like weapons, like lettuces.

To the issue at hand then, and on this weekend just passed, specifically Saturday, October 1 2016, staff on the door of Manchester's much loved Warehouse Project seized the following items from a punter:

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-Plums
-Apples
-Whipped Cream
-Lettuce
-Broccoli

Cops on last nights @WHP_Mcr say items seized inc plums, apples, whipped cream, lettuce & broccoli. The mind boggles pic.twitter.com/pQoxX3wPo1
— GMP City Centre (@GMPCityCentre) October 2, 2016

As reported by Greater Manchester Police on Twitter, the haul was taken by WHP staff who were "supported" by on site police officers. We are unsure what support the lettuce and broccoli required but good to know they were there regardless.

Naturally there are plenty of rumors and theories already flooding the internet, but we think we've got it down to five likely explanations based on a combination of the evidence and educated speculation. These took me all morning so please take them very seriously.

1. Someone Was Doing a Saturday Night Salad Shop and One Thing Led to Another and They Ended Up Watching Skepta at Warehouse Project

This theory, popular on Twitter, seems the most likely. We've all felt that tingle; lump of Boursin in one hand, bag of parsnips in other, and the overwhelming urge to get to a sizeable grime show as soon as possible. Picture our anonymous clubber, basket rattling with whipped cream and rolling plums, suddenly out of nowhere realising that instead of going home to cook the creamy broccoli and plum pie they were planning, they had to get themselves to Store Street immediately. Who knows what triggered them, maybe it was nothing more than the repetitive bleep of the scanner, skimming rhythmically in their head. Bleep, bleep, bleep, and before they knew it they'd had their lettuce confiscated and were down the front for Plastician.

2. Somebody Confused the Word 'Pills' for Plums, Apples, Whipped Cream, a Lettuce and Some Broccoli

We've all got our funny little mistakes we always make, haven't we? I, for example, am a 25 year-old who can't spell the word necessary without using a spell checker! A mate of mine thought the word bench was "vench" until she was 9! Maybe, just maybe, somebody out there always mixes up 'pills' with an assortment of disconnected grocery items. Perhaps they mess it up every weekend, constantly arriving at house-parties with celery and a bag of sultanas.

3. Ready Steady Cook is the New Pokemon Go!

Let's be honest, who'd have thought that in 2016 kids would be walking the streets actually catching Pokemon on their phones. There's even been a Pokemon Go rave! Maybe, the next trend to sweep the nation will be Ready, Steady, Cook Go! A fun, outdoors spin on the classic cooking gameshow that's got teenagers up and down the country roaming the streets picking up random ingredients, before finding disparately located "kitchens" where a virtual Ainsley Harriott leads them through head to head battles against each-other and oops I've thought this through in way too much detail…

4. The Anonymous Clubber Had Only Been Told Warehouse Project Was "A Party", Misread the Vibe, Thought There Would be Nibbles, Brought a Contribution

To be fair, if you'd never been to Warehouse Project before, and your mate just told you, "meet me at Store Street on Saturday, we're going to a really great party," then you'd might, possibly, not ask anymore questions, and assume you were heading to a nice little soiree involving a game of articulate, a selection of breads and oils, and a punch bowl. Then again, the question remains, who brings a raw broccoli to a dinner party?

5. This is Skepta's Rider

What if, and bear with me, what if the person who was stopped and searched wasn't a punter at all, but was in fact part of Mercury winning grime legend Skepta's management team? What if, Skepta had got backstage and flipped when he realized his rider, the same rider he has before every single show, wasn't there? "Where is it?" he muttered menacingly, softly at first, before yelling, "WHERE ARE MY APPLES, PLUMS, LETTUCE, BROCCOLI AND WHIPPED CREAM?"

Anyway…food for thought.

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