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      The Seven Most X-Rated Dance Mania Records of All Time The Seven Most X-Rated Dance Mania Records of All Time

      The Seven Most X-Rated Dance Mania Records of All Time

      November 19, 2013 12:30 AM

      "Clap your hands if you like the dick," sings Reggie Hall on Parris Mitchell's soulful 1995 piano anthem "All Night Long." "Baby girl, won't you suck me? I want to cum in your mouth," Reggie propositions in the song's second verse, singing so sweetly that even your uptight auntie couldn't take offense at it.

      Chicago house has always had a naughty side, but since the mid-90s, nobody has put sex center stage like Dance Mania, the label that is synonymous with the city's short-lived but widely-cited ghetto house movement. 

      After 200 releases and a catalogue that spanned nearly two decades, the label ultimately ran into financial trouble as the new millienium approached, and its former brick-and-mortar headquarters on Chicago's West Side went into foreclosure. While high-profile label artists like DJ Funk, DJ Deeon, and DJ Slugo have pulled strings to put the Dance Mania stamp on more recent one-off releases, the label has essentially been a closed shop since about 1999, with a release schedule that has slowed to barely a trickle.

      But in the spring of 2013, the label announced that it was back in business with an extended re-issue of Parris Mitchell's Project EP, the 1995 record that contains the aformentioned sexing single "All Night Long," as well as an EP of classic juke and footwork jams from Traxman. And in the first month of 2014, British record label Strut Records will team up with Dance Mania to release a compilation that follows the Chicago label's groundbreaking catalogue from the earliest proto-house records through acid house and aggressive techno and into ghetto house, juke, and footwork. 

      On the occasion of Dance Mania's imminent revival, we look back at our favorite Dance Mania moments—the ones with no filter, the songs that celebrate what we all (or at least most of us) came to the party to do: drink, smoke, and hump somebody. So without further ado...

      PAUL JOHNSON - "SUCK MY CANDY CANE"

      This track opens with Paul Johnson waxing philsophical about "knob slobbing" in the voice of a high-minded Afrocentric poet: "Peace, my brothers. Keep the dicks... sucked." As if that wasn't enough to make this totally bizarre and uncomfortable, the hi-fidelty slurping sounds start to filter into the mix, and then there are vocal harmonies and... I just... it's a bit too much for my fragile disposition. Catch the legend live in New York City at our THUMP Party at Output this Thursday, November 21, in Williamsburg, Brooklyn and Merry Christmas!

      PARRIS MITCHELL FT. REGGIE HALL - "ALL NIGHT LONG"


      Reggie Hall makes it sounds so romantic and those pianos are so smooth! I'm gonna sing this to my future ex-wife. PS: Do not miss that Bok Bok remix.

      TRAXMEN - "FUCKIN'/SUCKIN'"

      This shit is hella creepy, dawg! One should not be allowed to re-purpose a schoolyard rhyme for these deranged means. I listened to this one too many times last week and went to bed with "Fucking/sucking/Fucking/sucking" looping infinitely in my head like some kind of unhinged mantra. Weird night.

      DJ DEEON - "DICK & BALLS"

      Deeon is the uncontested godfather of ghetto house music, and one of Dance Mania's most prolific artists. While his other singles—"Let Me Bang," "Freak Like Me," and "Work this Motherfucker"—have since acheived legendary status among DJs the world over, this one is really really weird and nasty. Though I'm sure there's something even dirtier that will be pointed out to me by some nerd in the comment section.

      DJ DEEON - "YO MOUF" 


      I wish to hell this one was about going to the dentist but it's... wait, no I don't wish that at all. "Put it in yo mouf/Don't bite it/Lick my balls, I get excited" is how this jammy goes. If you can't communicate your bedroom needs to that special freak, just put this one on and the message will be received loud and clear. But be careful—this track is so infectious that you might sing it in front of your mom by accident. 

      DJ FUNK - "DIK WORK"


      281 Likes, 4 Dislikes. That's right—if you dislike this one you are a bonafide hater, you don't like to dance, or you are bell hooks. Even Gloria Steinem would booty bounce to this equal-opportunity sex jam (which kicks off at 2:23 in this video). "Let me see your dick work," says (presumably) a female "friend" of DJ Funk's, before he taunts her back with "Let me see that pussy work!" A track this filthy should not be this good-natured. Like all DJ Funk, this is guaranteed to get the ladies on the floor gettin' très ratchét—don't believe me? Just watch. 

      DJ D-MAN AND BILLY BOY - "DOOKY BOOTY"

      OK, OK—fine. This isn't a Dance Mania record, but ask any DJ with a crate full of ghetto house tunes, and they'll tell you that this belongs right up there with the cannon of DM classics. I always thought "dooky booty" was kind of gross, preferring "donky" or "bubble butt," but hey—to each their own, you know?

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