Rumors I Heard About Guy Gerber's Ibiza Residency

THUMP hanging with Guy Gerber in a NYC costume shop last year

Three days ago, Israeli techno DJ and debauched occultist Guy Gerber announced his 2014 Ibiza residency, Rumors. Given everything we know about Gerber, his Bacchanalian leanings, and his infamous Wisdom of the Glove parties—a carnival of fortune-tellers, puppeteers, magicians, and live acts—we can only speculate on some the rumors we've heard about Ibiza 2014.

Last year, THUMP followed Gerber around New York, shopping for costumes and raving at Robot Heart, then in March, we spent some time with Guy in Miami, where he announced his new collaborative album with rapper P. Diddy. So, we're pretty tight with the dude these days and we'd like to offer a few guesses as to what Rumors 2014 might hold for partygoers. Here's what to expect:

- P. Diddy reading your tarot cards in person.
- Free entry with any face tattoo.
- Build-Your-Own-Voodoo Doll stations for hexing wack DJs.
- Mormons.
- A very disapproving shaman reluctantly distributing hallucinogenic cacti to Lil Kim and Ma$e.
- Infected Mushroom and Borgore tabling with Israelis for Palestinian Liberation.
- A full buffet of Gerber baby food flavors. One of them is just ketamine.
- No water. Dessert wine.
- Disclosure will show up, but they will have their fake IDs taken away at the door.
- A Slip 'N Slide lubricated by the tears of all the beautiful women Gerber has scorned.
- A hologram of Boy George and Princess Diana singing Seth Troxler songs acapella.
- Michael Alig's mom.

Any other sites and sounds you expect from Rumors in Ibiza? Leave 'em in the comments.

For more on Guy Gerber:
Halloween Costume Hunting with the Creepy King of Ibiza